Do Not Quit

Monday, August 22, 2011

Very depressing day

I for some reason was already depressed today about self esteem issues etc. and then I got news about a close friend of the family. He has stage four cancer basically all through his body and was told he will have 3-6 months to live depending on if he decides to have chemo. I couldnt believe it. I had dreams about this being his last thanksgiving or christmas not sure which one but i know there was a feast going on, anyway I had dreams about this but ignored them thinking I was just so worried i caused myself to have horrible dreams. This is crushing news which has made this a day from hell. I wanted him to be there for my graduation I wanted him to see I could and did do it! I lost my grandmother before my high school graduation which caused me to go to my lowest low and drop out of school and now him. WHY? sorry I am all teary eyes right now and can not type about this any more I just wanted to put that out there and the fact that when I got this news I seriously messed up with points REAL BAD! and I dont even care :( Please who ever is reading this I know you may want to say kind words that will "make me feel better"but if you write celebrate the life they have not how long they have left or something along those lines it will in deed just piss me off I hate to be cold and I appreciate the king gesture but Im selfish I guess that doesnt make me feel any better. Im gonna go now and leave it at that like I said sorry to be a cold hearted bitch but just wanted to save you your time. good night all im on my way to another glass of wine and a long path ahead of me of sorrow.


  1. Sorry you have such a depressing day. I really like your blog though. It's amazing.

    -The Anonymous Teenage Blogger

  2. Hey I am sorry about your friend... I am still getting over the death of my Grandmother in February and it REALLY sucks I know... And you are write... nothing can really help or make it easier.

    If you ever want to talk though I am here.

  3. Thank you both and I lost my grandmother 6 years ago and it still feels like yesterday :( I guess because she was like a second mother to me, but the friend is like an uncle to me I actually thought he was my uncle for the longest time lol so it really sucks.

  4. Praying for you!! I was raised by my Mom, Grandmother, Grandfather so I truly understand. It was so hard when I lost both my grandparents within 2 years of each other ;( We had our own little dance we would do together called the "GRANNY DANCE" lol! We miss them so but we never forget. The great memories keep me going & they will always be in my heart <3