This will be over soon I will give the twins back and have my weight loss life back and my my school/blogging life right?? NOT!!! I just got a call yesterday to add to an already way beyond the point of hectic telling me the jets are coming back in from Afghanistan on the 15 and I have to work that weekend so now I wont be there to pick up the kids until the 22nd. Well that would be ok if I wasn't in school. I am already failing the most important class I have right now and its going to be rough to bring my grade up I was hoping to have the first week of no babies to study for the second test that I was going to have which is literally the week after they would have left. I think the 19th or 20th well.... THAT WONT HAPPEN!!
I am also so drained always tired I feel like I am at the burn out stage. ( I hope you guys know a little bit about psychology and don't think I am talking about a burn out *pothead* lol) I don't know how I am even functioning anymore no lie. Its exhausting its putting all my goals plans and more importantly my career on hold. I love them to death and I love my sis to death but its like I already did this for a month I cant do it anymore. I would take them to her if I had the money but I am broke as a joke. No lie. Sorry I had to vent :)
I was ready to go up to the YMCA and ask for their financial assistance like I had at one point of time so I could start going to the gym again. They offer babysitting while you work out so that's a plus and the fact that I could then throw my daughters bday parties there and she could have swim lessons all at discounted prices because I am a member. I hope I can still get up there to drop off the form it would be nice to go somewhere and work off all this exhaustion and anger I face on a daily basis haha!.
Well I am trying my hardest to do better this week but Its not happening to well. Yesterday I did good until dinner time I was at 22 pp and then It went down hill because me being stupid said well I am already over my points and I figured since the fam was getting chick-fil-a why get a 12 pp salad if I could have a meal for near the same points. Cough Cough DO NOT EVER THINK LIKE THAT THERE EVER I ate a freaking 30 point meal REALLY!!!????!!! I didn't know that was possible. Def. will never make that mistake again sticking to salads there.
So today I did good so far but I do see me going over 3-4 points :( not too bad though and I am going to try to make it so that doesn't happen by make my food even smaller lol I have to and I will do this, with or without babies. I know I have said that before but I am messing up everything I worked so hard for. Everything!!! Well that's all I think I got my venting and my mistakes out there. I will ttyl. I hope everyones day/week is going great!!
Wow.. There's a lot coming your way. I'm praying for you that you can get through this all. It's a lot of work to do this journey without children or a job.. But you have it all: a job, your daughter & the twins, work & school. You're doing your best with all of your daily duties. If you can, try to take some "YOU" time for a mental break. You are doing great with all that's going on, keep on working towards your goals. YOU WILL GET THERE :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you're feeling so stressed. I'm experiencing the burnout hardcore too. It's so impressive that you can keep up with everything in your life.
ReplyDeleteI know that when I'm in this crappy place, I can try to make lists and plans in order to prevent more stress. Menus and well planned grocery shopping have saved my eating habits lately.
You can do this! I believe in you! :)
You seem really overwhelmed but things will work out. It sounds like you will be getting back on track with the points and do well :) Good luck with everything!
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